Hayley & Gary’s Coogee Beach Wedding before their Overseas Wedding in Thailand
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Hayley & Gary’s Coogee Beach wedding story is a pretty good reminder that there’s no single right way to get married. For these two, one wedding simply didn’t make sense.
The Irish Connection
As a celebrant based in Newcastle, I don’t get to claim Coogee Beach as one of my regular marrying spots.
Gary was born in Donegal, Ireland. Hayley’s father was Irish, and even though she grew up in England, she understands the culture well, having spent many summers over there eating Tayto crisps, so they decided that an Irish celebrant would be an added bonus if they could find one for their Sydney wedding.
Thankfully, Google Search or maybe it was ChatGPT, did its thing.
There are some couples who make you feel like you’ve known them for years. Hayley and Gary were one of those couples. We connected easily.
I get such a thrill from marrying Irish people or anyone with any sort of tenuous connection to Ireland. Even if it’s generations ago, it counts!
A Coogee Beach Wedding Before the Wedding in Thailand
Hayley & Gary planned their destination wedding for Thailand, so family and friends from all over the world could attend. Rather than trying to do the legalities in Thailand, they decided to do that in Australia instead (as many couples do).
The Sydney ceremony was originally intended to be small- to get the legal paperwork done with just two witnesses. But as the RSVPS rolled in for their Thailand wedding, they realised not all their favourite people could make the big wedding in Thailand. So the ‘legals only’ wedding guest list started to grow when they saw an opportunity to turn their legals-only ceremony into something a bit more so no one had to miss out.
We agreed their Coogee Beach ceremony was their intimate legal wedding in Sydney. A chance to officially become husband and wife, surrounded by some of their closest people, while their bigger wedding in Thailand could be exactly that: a big celebration with more family and friends. There was no doubt the Thailand wedding was THE Wedding: the date they would celebrate as their wedding anniversary, the day Hayley would wear her fabulous wedding dress, have their first dance, cake, speeches would be made.
And I loved that distinction. A legal ceremony doesn’t have to feel like you’re simply ticking a box. You can still make it personal. You can still laugh. You can still cry. You can still tell your story, involve the people you love and create those little moments that make the ceremony feel special without taking away from the BIG wedding.
The way I look at it is that it’s okay to have multiple ceremonies across multiple continents. Their love deserved to be celebrated, so not only did I give my couple permission to lean into the small ceremony, but I encouraged them to make it more special because I knew it wouldn’t take away from the big wedding: it would just give them even more chances to celebrate their love and wonderful memories to feast on for years to come.
Online guests
And then the guests in Europe got wind that there was a wedding happening before the wedding in Thailand, and they didn’t want to miss out either.
Gary & Hayley decided they wouldn’t gate-keep. Because even a small wedding ceremony isn’t just about the couple standing at the front.
It’s about the people watching in person and online, laughing, crying, cheering and occasionally heckling – that’s all part of the magic of a wedding too.
So we had a few guests joining us on Zoom from Portugal, UK, and Ireland. It was a very early start for the online guests because of the time difference, but they were there with bells on. The couple chatted to them before and after and I did my best to make them feel included, even speaking cupla focal as gaeilge.
From almost housemates to husband and wife
Hayley & Gary’s story began in Sydney in 2017, when Gary was actually in the running to become Hayley’s housemate. He made the shortlist, but in the end Hayley and her flatmate decided it would probably be less awkward sharing with another woman.
Six months later, their female flatmate moved out, and the girls regretted their decision. “We should’ve picked the Irish guy.” Indeed.
Five years later, fate gave them another chance. In 2022, Hayley and Gary bumped into each other again at a mutual friend’s birthday at the Coogee Bay Hotel. Gary recognised Hayley first, although the beard he’d acquired since their almost-housemate days didn’t make him easily recognisable. The attraction was pretty immediate though. Gary thought Hayley was beautiful, smart and fun. Hayley thought Gary was handsome and, importantly, employed with a good job. He seemed to have his shit together.
Apparently, the chemistry wasn’t nearly as subtle as Hayley and Gary thought it was. Their friends noticed the flirting, the banter was flowing and the craic was mighty. The evening ended with a tipsy pash in the beer garden at the Coogee Bay Hotel.
And then… nothing.
Hayley went to Thailand for Christmas, and the texting stopped. What she didn’t know was that she’d told Gary it was “just a kiss” and wasn’t going anywhere. Gary, attempting to be a gentleman and respect her wishes, backed off. Classic rom-com miscommunication.
Fortunately, Hayley invited him to her birthday party the following January. Gary turned up, ever the optimist, hopeful for another snog. He got one. From there, things moved rather quickly.
Seven months later they were living together, and eighteen months after that Gary proposed. On Coogee Beach. So by the time I arrived to marry them, Coogee had already played a pretty significant role in their relationship.
A Coogee Beach proposal, followed by a Coogee Beach wedding
One of my favourite things about Hayley and Gary’s story is how much of it happened in the same little pocket of Sydney.
They met (for the second time, five years after their first meeting) at the Coogee Bay Hotel.
Gary proposed on Coogee Beach.
And then, one year later, they returned to Coogee Beach to become husband and wife. The whole ceremony had a lovely relaxed feeling about it. It was sweet, funny and completely personal.
After the ceremony, we headed to Coogee Pavilion to sign the paperwork with their witnesses and friends.
There was champagne. There were cheeseburgers. There were newlywed rings proudly displayed to the camera.
And there was the small matter of the Thailand wedding still to come.
They decided to wear their wedding rings just for that one day before putting them safely back in the box, ready for their big overseas wedding.
The best kind of wedding day
What I loved most about Hayley and Gary’s wedding was that there was no pressure for it to be something it wasn’t. It wasn’t intended to compete with their Thailand celebration or be the biggest, most elaborate wedding.
Instead it was a chance to stand overlooking Coogee Beach (thankfully no sand to contend with!), surrounded by people they love, officially become husband and wife and have a bloody good time while doing it.
And apparently, they enjoyed it. When I checked in with them afterwards, they told me married life was good. “Very much the same as before, which we think is a good thing!”
They were enjoying their little house, although perhaps not the mortgage rate increases quite so much. They also told me they loved every second of both weddings and would do it all again in a heartbeat.
And then came the greatest compliment of all: “If we win the lotto we’ll be doing a wedding 2.0 in Thailand and taking you with us!”. I’ll hold them to that. I love a good vow renewal.
Until then, I’m just incredibly grateful that our paths crossed.
Here’s to Hayley and Gary: two weddings, one marriage, a lifetime of adventures and hopefully a very large lottery win.
Le grá, gáire, agus go sona go deo.
Love, laughter and happily ever after.
Review
“Julie was an absolutely incredible celebrant and made our legal wedding day so special.
We had our legal wedding ceremony in Australia before our overseas wedding in Thailand with our family & friends who live in the UK & Ireland. Not having our loved ones there in person meant we wanted a ceremony that was simple, intimate and still incredibly memorable and Julie absolutely nailed the brief.
She brought so much warmth, humour and love to our day. From guiding us through the entire legal process and paperwork, to taking the time to genuinely get to know us and our families, Julie made every part of the ceremony feel personal and meaningful. She even included so many thoughtful references to our family watching from overseas that it truly felt like they were there with us in person.
Julie is the perfect balance of organised, kind, funny and caring. She goes above and beyond and has such a calming, joyful presence. We honestly could not recommend her more highly, the whole process and ceremony was absolutely perfect!”
– Hayley & Gary
If you have a paired down vision for your wedding, check out my legals only and elopement celebrant services. You’ll also find plenty of ceremony and location inspiration on my blog. Whether this will be your only wedding or you are having two weddings because you are getting married abroad, I’ll help you figure out what your perfect wedding means to you.
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