Why it’s OK to cry during your wedding ceremony
Whether you normally bawl at the drop of a hat or can’t even shed a tear during The Notebook, there’s a good chance that you might cry on your wedding day.
So many couples confide in me that they are worried about crying during the ceremony, as they feel it’s a bit embarrassing. I disagree completely. There ain’t no shame or embarrassment in crying on your wedding day. Shedding a few tears just shows that you understand how important this milestone really is.
The reason for the tears is usually a mix of happiness, letting go and moving on to another stage of life.
You’re expressing your love in front of others, and celebrating your relationship—that can certainly get tears to flow in even the most hardened personality! I’ve seen so many dudes swear to me in meetings that they won’t cry, only to bawl on the day, and I love it.
When you well up, others will well up too. I promise you won’t be alone. I actually think you are giving your guests a gift. There aren’t many safe spaces you can cry, out in the open: a wedding day is a real opportunity for you and your guests to feel alive by feeling a broad range of emotions.
In my experience, there are normally a few times during the ceremony when you are most likely to cry:
The Processional (The Walking-in)
There has normally been a huge build-up to the wedding. So much running around and last-minute logistics that you don’t have time to think about the emotional element of agreeing to devote your life to someone. When the processional music starts, that’s normally the first chance you have had to actually be still, breath and feel, and it can hit you like a ton of bricks. My advise is to keep your eyes focused on your partner and LEAN IN to whatever emotions bubble up.
The Personalised Vows
If you and your partner have written your own personalised vows, this portion of the ceremony may cause you (and pretty much everyone in attendance) to cry at your wedding. A vow is a promise, and this exchange is all about promising to love and support your partner through good times and bad—so it’s bound to get pretty weepy when you’re reading your vows or listening to your partner’s. If you’re worried about tripping over your words in between sobs, remember that it’s okay to get emotional—it means that your words are honest and heartfelt. Also, the more you practice your vows the easier reading them will be, even if you do start crying. My advice is also to have a good mix of heartfelt vows and funny vows to break things up. It’s important to have the light and the shade.
The LOVE Story
All celebrants do the same thing in a legal sense. It doesn't matter which celebrant you book, they are going to marry you. So what differentiates the BEST CELEBRANTS from the rest? It's how they make you feel. It's the experience that they create for you and your guests. It's hard to describe. It's an intangible quality that they have to read the crowd and elevate the vibe. Not all celebrants have the skills to tell your love story in an engaging and authentic way. It's a fine line between boring and over-the-top. The best celebrants know how to create a space for you and your guests to FEEEEEEEEEL a range of emotions during the love story.
So while I encourage all my couples to cry on their wedding day if they feel able, it also doesn’t mean anything if you don’t cry. Everyone expresses their emotions differently and not crying isn’t bad or wrong.
But, if you've hired a good photographer (and a good celebrant) then at least you'll know that if you get something in your eye, it might turn out tobe one of the best photos from the day.