There are lots of wedding traditions I am not a big fan of like tossing the garter and sitting at a sweetheart’s table.
But the tradition I like the LEAST is that the bride or grrom can arrive as late as they want. This is one urban myth that needs to be squashed.
Here are 5 reasons to start your wedding ceremony on time.
Australians arrive early to weddings. If the invitation says 3pm, you can bet that the guests start arriving at the venue from 2.30pm. I very rarely see a guest arrive late. So if you arrive 30 mins late and the ceremony starts at 3.30pm instead of 3pm, you can bet that most of the guests will have been waiting for an hour already at that point.
It’s not good for them and it’s not good for your ceremony. Before the celebrant has even had a chance to wow the crowd with their well-written and witty ceremony, the majority of the guests will already be ‘over it’. Trust me on this. The celebrant will have to work extra hard to keep them engaged. You want them listening during the ceremony not thinking ‘my feet hurt from standing in these ridiculously high shoes’, ‘where’s the toilet?’, and ‘am I getting sunburnt?’, or ‘when can I get to the bar for a drink?’.
His or her mates will no doubt be making jokes to wind them up for every minute you are late. Of course they know you are coming. Your wedding isn’t a Julia Roberts’ movie. But still, the person standing at the top of the aisle feels lots of unexpected emotions on the wedding day and you don’t really want to add to their nerves. Start your marriage right by being kind to them and not making ’em sweat unnecessarily.
No-one wants to be perceived as rude, arrogant or entitled…..or worse a bridezilla or groomzilla. They won’t say it to your face, but believe me, that’s what the guests will be thinking if you arrive late.
The wedding day has so many elements. It’s tough to cram it all in. When you arrive late to the ceremony, it throws the whole timeline off for all the vendors. The photographer will be sweating about getting the best I Do Crew photos before the sun goes down because you can’t skip the family photos. Also cue frantic running around by the caterer behind the scenes to delay the starter.
You will still want the photos, the speeches, the cake-cutting, the first dance etc so where you will really feel the pinch from starting late is at the end of the night, when you are enjoying yourself on the dancefloor and the venue tells you it’s all over red rover! Believe me when I say, you’ll regret starting the ceremony late then.
Your celebrant might have another wedding to get to. Popular celebrants do more than one ceremony in a day. They always leave a buffer but you’ll be putting them in a very awkward situation if you arrive very late and presume they have nowhere else to be. At worst, they will have to cut your ceremony short. At best, they will stay but probably charge you a late arrival fee. Make sure you know the details of your service agreement and have an honest conversation with your celebrant about the likely ceremony start time.
I think starting the ceremony anything UP TO 15 MINS late is acceptable. Anything more than that is inadvisable.
My advice is to aim to arrive at the venue on time. Generally, it takes about five to ten minutes to get the guests to move closer to fill all the seats and to get both sides of the bridal party sorted before the walking-in song can be played.
Everyone needs to be out of the car, lined up in the correct order and have time for last minute re-adjustments like giving the dress one last fluff, fixing a skewed bowtie or a drooping boutonniere.
Then you need time to take a deep breath, settle the nerves, and take it all in.
So aim to be on time, and the ceremony will realistically start 10 mins later.
If you are going to be late, get a message to the rest of the wedding party and the celebrant who is waiting at the venue. This simple act will alleviate a lot of stress for all involved. The celebrant’s phone will be on silent so call someone who will likely answer. Maybe tee this up with the MC that they are on standby for any last minute emergency calls.
Finally, if you are late for whatever reason and you can’t do anything about it, try not to stress and let it ruin your day. Everyone will wait
I am a top tier public speaker, own a label maker (and love it!), prefer emails to texts, normally show up in a thrifted high-end dress, am a paper and pen girl, love New Year's resolutions and am single-handedly bringing sequins back into fashion. .
J
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